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July 15 Incarnadine LetterWatch out! I'm blogging again! Listen to me be emo! Here!
Lemme tell you what this is all about. Incarnadine letters are things I've written to relieve stress and inner turmoil, written in red and folded into flowers to be symbolic. Ooo pretty! Care to have a read? Go on!
To the addressed, I'm now aware that my current mental state is unhealthy. I'm tired, sad and lonely. I'm not just sad though. I'm depressed. Below sea level. I want to talk to someone about these "feelings." I know I'm crazy. I just wish I wasn't this kind of crazy. Some people are funny, happy-all-the-time crazy. Why couldn't I be that kind of crazy? Would I still be lonely? I'm so tired. I wish I could just go into retirement and not have to worry about anything anymore. Not forever. Just a vacation. Everyone needs a break every once in a while, right? God did. I wish I had a pet emo I could discuss all this pain with. Someone that wouldn't annoy or alienate me. My brain feels like exhausted degenerating grey matter. I feel like I'm going blind. All my senses are distroted and scrambled. It's as if my lethargy is pulling me into a comatose sleepless sleep. My troubles seem to be tiring me throughout the day. I'm tired of being so bloody frieghtened. I'm so confused as to whether this is an intense psychological issue or I'm just going through maudlin over-exagerrated teenage angst. I'm not completely over the edge yet. Somethings still make me laugh.
~willingly yours |
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